Kouing Aman at Les Madeleines

My sister Sarah told me that she had seen a local bakery featured on Food Network for the show "The Best Thing I Ever Tasted- Salty Goodness." I drive by this bakery each day on my way to work and have always wanted to stop by. It's called Les Madeleines in Salt Lake. The bakery was featured for a pastry called Kouing Aman, so that's what I tried.

Oh My! Now this is not a pastry for people who are dieting, which I should be. It's a croissant-type dough, with sugar and butter all through, that's crispy on the outside, soft and tender on the inside, and every bite is both sweet, crunchy, and salty, and soft. It completely melts in your mouth. On the outside is a kind of soft sugary crunchy substance that is kind of like a caramel coating on caramel popcorn, but more subtle and super thin.

I also tried the ham and gruyere croissant, which was delish. The chocolate shortbread was my other sample, and it was not so much my favorite. I didn't suspect that it would be chocolate with orange, and it was. Since I don't like that combo to begin with, I would skip it next time.

I'm always thrilled to try something new and delightful. Usually that happens at home whenever Marty tries a new recipe. This delight is lovely because I don't have to do any dishes when the thrill is over!

Baking as Therapy

I've noticed that as my sisters and I have worked through the holidays without my mom this year, we've had a common pursuit. That is, we've all been baking! Mom was a wonderful cook, and she could make just about anything, but she excelled at baking and making treats. We've been keeping her close by making her specialties, as well as a few of our own.

It started with cookie day back in November, which was a makeup for our annual October cookie day that got spoiled by swine flu.

Since then between me and my sisters we've made a whole bunch of holiday recipes including:

Carrot Cake
English Toffee
Gingerbread Houses
Peanut Squares
Peanut Butter Cookies
Brownies
Gingersnaps
Gingerbread snowflakes
Pound cake

Both my sister Annie and I had gingerbread disasters that ended up in shattered gingerbread, and a few tears. In my case, I was grateful that the nervous breakdown over the gingerbread house happened on Christmas Eve, because I had it out of my system before Christmas Day. My gingerbread house took over 7 hours to create and ended in a shattered pile of gingerbread, Necco wafers, ribbon candy, and royal icing on the kitchen floor at the end of that. The toffee split and ended up in a pool of congealed butter. My peanut squares were too thin, and Sally's were too thick. Along the way, we've missed being able to call mom and ask her a question so we've learned by trial and error. Do the eggs really need to be room temperature? (Answer, for carrot cake no, for royal icing, yes.) How long does it take for this toffee to reach the right temperature? (Answer, 20 million years during which you must keep stirring constantly or it splits).

Happily, the carrot cake was just right, another batch of toffee worked out perfectly, Annie glued her gingerbread house back together and secured it with Triscuits. The front half of my Victorian gingerbread house hit the dirt, but the back looked okay, so we turned it around. My brother pronounced his sisters "Best Sisters Ever" for making every cookie on his Christmas cookie list. And somehow, we made it through Christmas without mom physically here, although we felt she was somehow close.

For some, cooking is a Zen pursuit, in my family, at least this holiday season, it's been more of an extreme sport where we've experienced both the thrill of victory and the agony of defeat. The gingerbread is in pieces, but there were a few moments, stirring away at that toffee, that not having to think of anything but that task at that moment was peaceful.

Back to the Blog

I guess I've had a pretty massive writer's cramp since last Spring, because I've really not been able to get a whole blog post through my mind and onto the web. However, gotta start somewhere, so maybe I'll post some highlights for the summer.

1. Took a trip by myself up to Idaho. Okay, not sure if about 32 hours counts as a trip, but to me it was great. It was a family history trip to the small town where my grandfather was raised (Carey). Before I left, I prayed that I would find out some information about my great grandparents that I wanted to know. Boy, I must say that the Holy Ghost is good-- got me in the right spot to meet Cousin Bob, who had exactly the information I was looking for and much more too. I want to work on a novel about my family's experiences there in Carey, and did get some inspiration. Also got some neat photos in the local cemetery in Hailey. The best part was just having some moments of peace and quiet without any laundry.

2. Took a bunch of extra time off in August. It was really nice to have some extra time with the kids, as well as a few days to get caught up on things at home. I didn't get anywhere near as much done as I had planned though. Got caught up on the laundry several times this summer, which is miraculous in and of itself.

3. Watched the kids do their stuff. The summer started with some pretty awesome baseball games, and ended with football season. In between we had a couple of wonderful dance recitals. I never get tired of watching my kids' games and performances. Although, I may wear earplugs at the band performance this year as Joseph has taken up the trumpet.

4. Visit from Grandpa and Grandma. We had a great time taking photos with my Dad and his wife. Spending time with them is always a treat, and we wish we could do it more often.

5. Fireworks. I love, love, love fireworks. We only went this year on the 4th of July. I think that they need to start doing Easter fireworks, Christmas Fireworks, and fireworks on my birthday.

6. Our trip to Washington DC. What a fun place to go with my kids. Despite heat and sore feet, we managed to see two Smithsonians, the Lincoln Memorial, the WW1, WW2, and Koren War Memorials, the National Zoo, most of the walking area of the mall, Gettysburg, and some cousins to boot.

7. Allergy shots. How are allergy shots a highlight? Well, because allergy shots have made life in pollen-prevalent Utah so much more enjoyable. I am basically done with the weekly shots and now only need one every other month. Small price to pay for comfy eyes, nose, and skin.

8. Work, work, work. I've become the top dog at my office since the company laid off everyone in my role except me. So I'm the go-to gal for folks all over the company. Keeps me hopping! It's a lot of pressure, but at the same time a compliment that people trust me with their important questions.

9. Food. In my house, it's always about food. Indian food, barbeques, Indonesian, or even scrambled eggs. Mostly made by Marty. We've had some delicious meals this summer, but my favorite was homemade pizza. Marty's pizza is really more of an act of love than a meal. Or a work of art. His pizza should be framed and hanging in the Louvre, but too bad, we ate it all.

10. A lot of thinking. Thinking about life, death, kids, family, work, and how to find peace amidst all the chaos. Haven't totally got it figured out, but I think it has something to do with learning to take in what each moment has to offer-- to live in the present and be mindful of the wonderfulness of those fleeting moments.

I've been working on this mindfulness, and since then I have noted the beautiful sunrises that I witness each morning as I drive to work. I walk in the door at home and sneak in to find my daughter and her baby brother curled up in her bed talking, or hear the whole crew singing "Twinkle, Twinkle" at the tops of their lungs. I smile to see Henk wake up in the morning and put on his sunglasses before he even opens his eyes. I laugh at Cricket and Joop belting out "Here Comes the Sun" as they play Rockband. I thrill as we work on their piano pieces when manage to end the duet we are working on together at the same moment. Serving in the Temple, putting a towel around each young man and young woman as they come up from the baptismal font, I find peace in nurturing and loving these young people. Driving to girls' camp with a friend, I gain a new understanding of something that troubled me. I find a few words of scripture that answers a question I've been praying about.

Mindfulness results in awareness of the gifts of the moment that somehow seem to take up some of the spaces that loss and grief have left in my heart.